Mirror,Mirror,on the wall: Who's the silliest of them all?

Waka,Waka,it is June 2010,and indeed,it is time for Africa,with South Africa hosting the world's most widely watched sporting event,the Football World Cup.As the tournament progresses,however,another fiercely contested battle is going on behind the scenes,and it may well go down to the wire: the title of IDIOT OF THE TOURNAMENT is at stake,and for now,there are many bidders.May the best man win.

Leading from the front is Brazil's in-form Luis Fabiano,who seems unable to understand that hands---oh yes,HANDS---are NOT to be used in a game of FOOTball.Well,nobody ever told him that,did they? Or else,why o why would he have handled the ball TWICE to score that now-ignominious goal against Cote d'Ivoire? In doing so,he has inspired not just his countrymen (we saw another ludicrous Hand of God attempt against Portugal),but also the gritty Serbs( They did it twice,mind you.No competition on that count.) as well as the Argentine Diego Milito,who (inadvertently?) pushed the ball with his hand for Demichelis to score against Greece(Dear,dear,everything's going against the Greeks these days,innit?).Now,if the referee was correct in allowing that horrendous goal,which merited a yellow card if nothing more,then why Kaka was sent off for the gentlest of pushes is anyone's guess.

Which brings us to the next big talking point: the refereeing we've seen in this World Cup is in a class of its own.Welcome to the era of trigger-happy officials.Free kicks doled out for fun and bookings for offences as serious as a heated conversation.Get a grip! Football is a contact sport:there will be words,there will be the hard tackle.C'mon,they are integral to the game!What do you expect? "Cho chweet,the cuddly defender kissed the cutie striker for scoring a goal...Mmmwaaah!" You want to hear that,ref? Geez.

And yes,let's hear it for France,whose soap-operatic fortunes have put Ekta Kapoor permanently out of business,what with Anelka and Co. making saas-bahu squabbles seem so,so yesterday.Italy,too, have crashed out,with their 'water-tight' defence evidently in the hands of the wrong plumber.England,too, have had embarassing situations of their own,not to mention Robert Green's expert goalkeeping.

The noisy (mind if I say IRRITATING?) vuvuzelas,that embarassment of a ball (the Jabulani,in case you are still groping for appropriate swearwords) and the dour,defensive football on display form the perfect backdrop for a contest of idiocy on an unprecedented scale.Of course,Argentina's breathtaking game,Portugal's magnificent 7-0 and Maicon's/Villa's wonder strikes do provide the semblance of a silver lining,but by and large,World Cup 2010 has been an eyesore,with even mighty Brazil opting for a goalless stalemate versus Portugal.Yuck.

Now for the announcement.Hold your breath.

And the winner is...you guessed it,sour old Raymond Domenech. He is our undisputed IDIOT OF THE TOURNAMENT so far(as on June 26,2010).The French manager stormed out of the tourney,refusing to shake the hand of his opposite number,the coach of the victorious South African team whose coup-de-grace effectively shattered whatever wild dreams the wretched French side still entertained.The Bafana Bafana didn't seem to mind,however,having eked out a historic win to bow out on a high.

But then,it isn't over till it's over,and we could still be in for a masterpiece of idiocy.Remember 2006? Zidane's ridiculous headbutt came as late as the final,that too,with hardly any time left on the clock. Greater idiots may yet step forward and rob dear Raymond of his prized position.Watch out.

Till then,Monsieur Domenech,heartiest congratulations.